May 13, 2026
Dear Families,
This week, I surveyed second, third, fourth, and fifth graders about how they use their phones, tablets, and laptops… and how they see you using yours. The surveys were completely anonymous. I encouraged children to tell the truth.
First, 17% of students say they have seen naked people while using their devices. I expected the percentage to be higher. Only two kids say they have seen naked people “Pretty often” or “All the time.”
Violence is far more accessible. Sixty percent of our second, third, fourth, and fifth have seen “really violent” images. Unsurprisingly, 89% of them also report “trouble sleeping” because of something they saw on their device.
Almost half of second, third, fourth, and fifth graders admit to using a device while their grown-ups think they’re sleeping. One in five pretends to be sleeping “Pretty often” or “All the time.” And, thirty percent report sneaking their device again “after a grown-up took it away or hid it.”
Disturbingly, 14% report having an adult they don’t know in real life send them messages. Half of them responded to those strangers. Also, 27% say they have used their device to talk with kids they don’t know in real life. Are we sure all of those ‘kids’ are actually children?
What should we make of these numbers?
First, evaluate where your child’s devices are at night. Some kids say they need an alarm clock or music to help them fall asleep. Also, almost half of our kids report using devices when adults think they’re sleeping, so remove any ‘alarm clock’ with access to Fortnite and Instagram from your child’s room.
Second, devices can addict young brains, so adults who set limits and keep control are probably helping their child. Lock devices physically. Decide which apps can be used, for how long, and block apps you don’t want your child to use at all. Click here for help setting limits on devices and apps, including which apps and sites your child can access, and for how long.
Finally, see yourself as your child sees you. The survey asked children, “When you are trying to spend time with your family, how much do the grown-ups use their device?” Half – half – responded that their adults are on devices “Pretty often” or “All the time.” When asked how long they spend “waiting for the grown-ups to finish using their device,” almost as many kids reported they either wait “a lot,” or that the grown-ups “almost never stop.”
Children’s estimates of adults’ time on devices mostly measure how we make them feel. A third of our kids identify their grown-ups as what I’ll call ‘doubly distracted’: adults on devices often or “All the time,” making their kids “wait a lot” or almost never stopping. How does ‘double distraction’ impact kids?
Compared to the kids who say their adults use their devices less, students with ‘doubly distracted’ adults are twice as likely to encounter “very violent” material often or “All the time.” Children whose adults use devices more are nine times more likely to have had trouble sleeping because of what they saw on the internet. They are twice as likely to have sneaked their own device after it was taken away, and three times more likely to be on devices after lights out.
Thursday evening, May 21, is Family Game Night. CPE1’s tradition is that the week is a no-screens week. Originally, that meant television. Now, screens have moved to our pockets, addictively. Thirty years ago, second, third, fourth, and fifth graders weren’t sneaking their living room TV into their beds. Today, about half admit doing that with phones and tablets. If you think that’s just older kids, please know that more than half of Marilyn’s pre-K kids claim to have done the same.
Maybe a no-screens wis exactly what many of us need. Enjoy the week, in real life.
Fulltime ICT in Fourth and Fifth Grade
On Monday, our staff began making next year’s classes. We do this work all together, in one room. Our shared knowledge of each child’s strengths and histories help us make productive combinations of students.
We expect one change in next year’s class structure. Kiyah and Eunice will team up in a fulltime, integrated collaborative teaching (ICT) classroom. All of our classrooms have students who receive special education services. ICT is a great for model delivering those services.
Next year, a bit more movement than usual as we build balanced and supportive class communities in the 4/5s. Students always find out their class for the following year shortly before dismissal on the day of graduation. Teachers seat kids in the meeting area by next year’s class, so everyone can look around and know exactly what to expect for the following year.
Personal Conflict for Graduation
I’ve attended graduations at dozens of schools, colleges, and universities. To me, CPE’s is the most emotional, and personal.
This year, graduation day brings a different meaning to “personal.” My youngest child will be graduating high school in a ceremony in midtown, one hour after CPE1’s begins.
I told fifth graders that I will join the first half of their graduation before I dashing off to my child’s. That means I’ll probably miss all the parts that make me cry, year after year. As happy as I am for my own family, I feel sad not to see this year’s fifth graders complete this tradition.
Of course, the rest of our community is welcome to shed joyful tears in my place. As always, every CPE1 class will attend graduation, and all families - not just those with fifth graders - are invited as well.
Graduation starts at 9:00 on Monday, June 22.